Updated: Jan 5
335 days separated from my kids, after months of a lockout from my home and business in China I deciding to relocate 8000km back to my home country Denmark, closing one business and starting a new is the toughest Emotional Resilience lesson I have ever had to take.
Though I am a professional in personal development and Emotional Intelligence, I am still a human being. I am not immune to disruption, and the emotional rollercoaster loss and longing brings with it. The longing as a result of being separated from my children over 300 days is the hardest. Losing out on seeing them grow up every day is time I will never get back and gives a perfect climate for the feelings of frustration, regret, sadness, despair. These feelings come in waves, each wave I have to actively manage.
Yes, I say manage, as it is possible to take control despite the uncertainty, fear, worry and longing. We all have different coping mechanisms we draw towards, but they do all have one thing in common. They work to manage our emotions in times of stress. We have options for coping mechanisms that are positive and negative for our health and mental wellbeing. See below chart.
When facing stress, we tend to gravitate towards the quick fixes, these are often emotional eating, high in sugar and calories or higher alcohol consumption. As a professional coach, I am very aware of how a positive mindset with focused goals that are S.M.A.R.T. is important for success. The easy part is to write the overall goal and the stepstone goals needed to achieve. In theory, this sounds simple but this sometimes we forget to look at the action and sometimes changes we need to make in form of new habits to move towards our goals realistically and sustainably.
If you are physically wounded, you know what to do as Dr Guy Winch would say. You know how to care for a wound or seek professional medical help. This we don’t tend to do with our emotional and mental health. It is normal to have feelings and emotions this is how we have evolved. We have two parts of our brain, one is basic which I refer to as our Dinosaur, its function is to keep us alive and evolve. It will scan our environment for dangers and alert us in form of physical reactions or emotions so we can act on the threat we are facing. We then have a more evolved part of our brain which I refer to as owl brain. Owl brain is a thinking and logical brain which we use to make informed and rational decisions.
When we face stress, our Dinosaur tends to take over and scares our Owl away and stops us from rational and logical thought in a time of high stress. They are both important and need to work as a team with awareness.
So, as I started 2020 in Guangzhou China with many goals and plans for the year these were however disrupted. As I suddenly faced an 8000km distance stuck in Denmark away from my children and 8-year life and home in China.
My initial response was to manage my emotions and just use my Owl brain to push through to set new goals and work harder. This was with hindsight a fight response where I was as emotionally wounded as “The black knight”, “Tis but a scratch” sketch in “The Holy Grail”.
I knew it was time to focus on gratitude and mindfulness. I was back in my home country Denmark after having lived 20 years aboard. What better place to focus on the small things in life, practice gratitude and mindfulness. Enjoying the long summer evenings, homemade cooking and a slow pace of life. As the winter month is drawing in and the winter darkness is as long as summer light was long it is time for wooden fire and homemade food in the company of loved ones.
On my 2020 journey of loss and longing, it has given me the time to reflect and reset. My mission has never changed I am still passionate about “Growing future leaders to make a difference in a world of change” through Coaching and Emotional Intelligence. Mainly because without the Emotional Resilience these tools have given me this year would have been so much harder and painful.
I have developed an online course “Introduction to Emotional Intelligence” over the summer. It was developed at a time where exhaustion, longing for my kids, the uncertainty of when I would be united with them again, and what the future may bring was at its highest. I have since then taken a break from social media to self-care and to focus on my inner circle and my loved ones.
As I am quietly working on rebuilding my business and living in Denmark, I have a few things to share.
With my background as an ICT teacher, I am developing online learning programmes and Social Media strategies that come with this. I am also super excited to see how GENOS International has just launched its online learning assessment platform and can't wait to deliver and support individuals and organisations to develop Emotional Intelligence.
I may be physically placed in Denmark, but I can be reached from all over the world through online learning solutions in English and Danish.
As I am building, I am currently able to offer the following as well as small projects where my expertise may fit.
· Online learning, educational consulting
· GENOS International Emotional Intelligence Assessments and courses
· Mimir Global’s first step into personal development course “Refocus your future” This is a course that will support you to find your focus when you may face disruption.
· 1-1 coaching
I have also built an online course I am ready to share to get some insights into the value of Emotional Intelligence called Introduction to Emotional Intelligence.
l Intelligence. I have reduced the price for this course to allow more to learn and at the same time, you will be supporting a small business to get back on its feet.
First few sections of the course are FREE.
Alternatively, try the FREE TASTER to the Introduction to Emotional Intelligence here
If you want to support a small business who has been disrupted, please share. The course will not only support my relocation and a new start, but it will also give you a great insight into Emotional Intelligence the skill we all need to develop in a world which will face more and more disruption and not just from Covid-19.
I am now united with my children and look forward to sharing and support more with my online solutions.
So, while I can’t share my exciting goals for 2021 yet make sure you follow me and Mimir Global’s social media or visit my website.
If you find anything I do of interest and you feel I can support you please do not hesitate to contact or follow me on Social Media.